🧠 Why Do We Blame Ourselves?
You Are Not to Blame
Many trauma survivors carry a weight that isn’t theirs to bear: shame and self-blame. These feelings often linger long after the traumatic event itself — silently influencing how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we move through the world.
Abusers often manipulate the narrative to shift responsibility. Survivors of domestic violence, sexual abuse, or childhood trauma may internalize those messages — “It was my fault,” “I let it happen,” “I should have done more.” Even when the rational mind knows these thoughts aren’t true, our emotional core might still believe them. That’s the tragic power of manipulation, fear, and trauma.
Shame thrives in silence. It traps people in cycles of guilt, secrecy, and self-doubt. And when the abuse comes from someone trusted — a parent, teacher, or caregiver — it becomes even harder to separate the pain from personal worth.
💔 You Did What You Needed To Survive
Whether you froze, submitted, stayed quiet, or dissociated — these were survival instincts. Your body and mind did what they could to keep you safe. These responses are never a sign of weakness — they are proof of your strength.
Yet, for many, the nervous system stays on high alert long after the danger has passed. The result? Overwhelm, anxiety, and continued self-judgment. That’s why understanding trauma — and how it affects your brain — is vital to healing.
🌱 Compassion is the Antidote to Shame
The turning point in trauma recovery often begins with a simple, radical act: self-compassion. It may feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable at first. But slowly, gently, offering yourself the kindness you so freely give to others is how healing begins.
We practiced this in the episode through a guided compassion meditation — reminding ourselves:
“I am doing the best I can.”
“May I be kind to myself in this moment.”
“May I forgive myself for being human.”
These aren’t just affirmations — they are lifelines. Every time you breathe in and out with kindness, you reclaim a little more of your power.
🌸 You Are Not Broken. You Are Healing.
Abuse is never the victim’s fault. Healing is not linear, and you don’t need to do it alone.
Through therapy, support, and compassion-based practices, you can begin to put the blame back where it belongs — with those who caused the harm — and take back your life.
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